Holy shit, it feels like it was just yesterday that I was in Las Vegas celebrating my 21st birthday. Then, POOF I woke up today and finally took a moment to recognize that I have reached the age of 25. I know most people get scared of aging, but if you’ve ever met me. You’d know that I’m not quite like the rest, and never wanted to be. I’ve always liked being different. Different hair, makeup, clothes, and perspectives. As I grow, I feel less like missing the past and more like wanting to embrace the progression of my present as it gradually unravels into my future.
I wanted to take a moment to cultivate a list of lessons that my 25 years of life have taught me. I promise you this, I will NEVER speak on a lesson unless I’ve actually lived the experience enough to learn it. With that caveat, let's get into it……
1. Home is where YOU are.
YOU are whole, YOU are complete, and YOU are amazing. There is nobody and nothing else in this world that can satisfy you other than yourself. Stop searching outside of yourself for other people and places that will make you feel complete. There is an endless amount love that brews from inside of you, it is your job to unlock it, and find your peace.
2. Life goes on
The only things that are constant in this life are; birth, death, and change. There is no need to rigidly hold onto anything that no longer serves you. Nothing lasts forever. Not the; pain, happiness, betrayal, hurt, joy, etc. Remember that this life will always keep moving forward, and your emotions do not need to dictate your experience.
3. Today is the first day of the rest of your life
If you wake up every day with the perspective that every day is the first day of your life. You will find yourself in the same frequency as God. Look at nature, it does not stay still, it is always changing. Nature does not get sad when it rains, but instead, it fully envelopes itself in the experience of becoming cleansed by the water. You are not who you were yesterday, and there is no tomorrow yet. Live today as if it were the first day of the rest of your experience. Sing, dance, laugh, cry, and enjoy the totality of being alive.
4. Shed your skin
Snakes do not shed their skin and try to put it back on. What's even crazier is that they just drop their old skin where it is, and as they maneuver within their new skin layer. It can actually be very uncomfortable, yet they give themselves massages on rocks and keep moving forward. Don’t shed ‘skins’ in your life and then try to put them back on.
5. Control your sexual energy, it is sacred
The world we live in is overly sexualized, and we are taught to sell our bodies for money, fame, attention, and praise. It is your body, not mine, but I challenge you to become more conscious of your sexual energy. Stop fucking randoms, and truly ask yourself if you want to be a part of this sexual act. When we are sexually intimate we create soul ties with the other individual, leading us to take on their trauma and burdens. So before you lay with someone, make sure you’ve truly decided what you are investing your energy into taking on and giving out. Do not fuck for the sake of your ego, and do not fuck for validation.
6. Be grateful, but don’t give anyone else the credit for your hard work
It is okay to give credit where it is due, but do not discredit yourself and give it to anyone else when you were the one putting the work in day in and day out. Gratitude for others is important, but it is equally important to pour that same energy back into yourself for all that you are, and all that you do to create your life.
7. Detach from things that don’t serve you
When there are people, places, and things in your life that do not serve you. If you choose to keep them around, at least detach yourself from them. There is no need to stay rigidly attached to anything or anyone. You can love from a distance, and love with compassion for yourself.
8. Don’t be scared to take a risk
If you feel your gut telling you to do something, or go somewhere. Do it, and don’t think twice about it. Life is too short to worry about the ‘what if.’ You are made of the same energy as the moon and stars. Take a risk, do something new, be someone new, and go wherever your heart leads.
9. There are no wrong decisions
Contrary to popular belief, there are no wrong decisions. There is a reason why we do things in our lives. If it served you in a moment, it doesn’t mean it will serve you forever. Make your choices and stand firm in them. Every opportunity you have allows you to move forward. Don’t stray from yourself just because you chose a path you didn’t want to be on. The only thing you can do is take steps to be where you want to be.
10. Surround yourself with those who love you as you are, not who you are for them
If people love you with conditions, they do not truly LOVE YOU. Stop pretending like you need to do certain things, act a certain way, or be someone you not just for the sake of someone else loving you. Those who love you as you are, love you as you are.
11. Money, gifts, and trips are not a substitute for love
People can buy you nice things, take you to nice places, and woo you with all of the money in the world. At the end of the day, it doesn’t mean shit. Love is loyalty, honesty, truth, freedom, forgiveness, and peace. Love is not diamonds, food, or fancy homes. Love is a feeling, love is its own currency, outside of the one we use in the tangible world.
12. Treat everyone with respect
You are not better than anyone else, and never act like you are. We are all a part of this universe together, and we are all God's children. We are a drop of water in the ocean of humanity. You can learn from every person that you encounter on this journey. Don’t define someone else (or yourself) by a title they’ve given themselves or been given. Feel their energy from a soul level rather than from a professional/ monetary one.
13. Make your bed
Do not leave your house before making your bed in the morning. I can promise you that no matter how messy everything in your life can get if your bed is made there will always be a place of consistency, comfort, and peace for you to fall back on.
14. Drink water
Your body is made up of water, drink it, and drink it frequently. There is no reason why you are drinking sugary drinks on a regular basis. If you loved yourself you would be drinking water as often as you possibly could.
15. Eat whole foods
Eat foods that will nourish your body, don’t just eat what tastes good in the moment. Truly nourish yourself with good foods because they have the opportunity to boost your brain function, body function, and overall well-being.
16. Be curious
Ask questions, and stay curious. Be curious about yourself and others. Ask people about their lives, and become engulfed with wonder for the story that other people share. Also dive deeply into what your own story is, and why you do the things that you do. Never stop learning about yourself, others, and the world around you. This life is a beautiful mystery and it is a gift to be able to wander through it with curiosity and a sense of wanderlust.
17. Compliment others
Giving 5 compliments a day will make you a happier person overall. Tell people how you feel about them. Let people know how much you appreciate their existence and individuality. All the love that you wish to receive, put out first and it will all come right back to you, but do not expect it to happen in that exact moment. Don’t give the compliment with the intention to get one in return, just give for the sheer joy of giving.
18. Choose love, no matter the circumstance
No matter how angry you can get. No matter how mad you become. Always make sure to choose love. Choose love because you want to feel love. It is not for the sake of anyone else but for the beauty that you deserve to feel in this life. You are a gift, and your life is meant to be lived as such.
19. Silence speaks louder than most words
If you ever don’t know what to say, or why to say it. Don’t say anything at all. Silence speaks louder than our words can at times. There is an emptiness in this space, clarity can be birthed within the silence. Which can completely transform the way in which you are experiencing a situation.
20. When you want to react, listen instead
Take a moment, slow down, and pause. Do not react to your life but take a moment to find your peace within the chaos. Take a moment to truly listen to what your soul is craving to express in that moment. Turn in, and you will always be able to hear the voice of reason within you loud and clear, once you move past the immediate reaction.
21. Ask yourself if you are happy, on a daily basis
Constantly check in to make sure that you are genuinely happy with your life. Do you genuinely love what you are doing, and who you are? Are you bored, uninspired, or feeling disconnected? Ask yourself what needs to change. Ask yourself how you can be happier, and what you can do now to facilitate that growth. No matter what you do make sure that you do not stay stagnant. Get off of the hamster wheel and live your life.
22. Change as often as possible
Change is not meant to be feared, and if it is, that fear is a choice. You can choose to embrace change with the eyes of love, or you can resist it with the pressures of fear. Change is inevitable so you can either meet it where it is at and embrace it as such. You can choose to shy away from it until change happens to you, rather than choosing for it to happen for you.
23. Wear whatever you want, experiment with your individuality
Change your hair, makeup, clothes, etc. You are a completely individual person in this physical world. Stop taking yourself so seriously. Wear whatever makes you feel good, and embrace your uniqueness. You are not meant to be like everyone else in this life, you are meant for so much more than you could ever imagine. Don’t worry about what anyone else has to say, be who you are, and say what you please. Those who matter don’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter.
24. Its never too late to try something new, or to meet someone new
Your life is not over when you lose a friend or a relationship ends. On the contrary, another life is waiting for you on the other side of your insecurity. Try out different relationships, and try out different experiences. Life's too short to stay rigidly attached to anyone or anything. You are meant to experience this life with arms wide open. Welcome in new experiences, new people, and new moments of bliss. Have the courage to look outside of the boxes you’ve created for yourself, and on the other side of that, you might find that your life is a lot more magical than you could’ve ever imagined.
25. Never be scared to let go of fake friends
One of the hardest parts of this journey is recognizing that the people you are down for, are not down for you in the same way. That is OKAY. Give your relationships your all and show up with loyalty and respect, and if people do not reciprocate that some love and respect in return. Gracefully let them go with love, and remember that whoever is truly meant to be in your life will show you that there is no question that they deserve to be there.
Written and published by Charlotte Mae @charlotte_supernatural